(No Machine) Chocolate Truffle Ice Cream

Ok, so this was a huge fail...normally I don't bother to keep recipes that aren't good, but is my reminder that I will concede ice cream making to an ice cream making machine. 
It all started when a fellow classmate started bringing ZOMG homemade ice cream and it tasted amazing! However, unlike him, I do not have an ice cream machine (and for the sake of my health/waistline, I do not planning on getting one). 

But, I was seduced by the supposed easiness of making it without a machine, and with some friends, attempted this recipe from a random blog I found.  I have no idea how this lady made her creation, but what I came up with was definitely NOT ice cream. It's so sweet, I feel like I'm eating condensed milk straight from a frozen can. With chocolate, almonds, and expresso...
 
Ingredients
1 can condensed milk
¾c heavy cream
¾c whole milk
6oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped (I used Ghiradelli 60% chips, chopped)
¼c unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted
5 tsp cornstarch
2 Tbsp water
1 tsp vanilla

Instructions
In a medium saucepan, whisk together sweetened condensed milk, cream, and whole milk over medium heat. Whisking often, bring mixture to a boil over medium heat. Remove from heat.
Immediately, stir in bittersweet chocolate and cocoa powder and whisk until very smooth. In a small bowl, whisk together cornstarch and water, then pour into chocolate mixture.

Return saucepan to medium heat and bring to a simmer, stirring almost constantly, until mixture has thickened, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla, almond, and salt.

Pour mixture into a glass bowl. Let cool about 5 minutes before covering with plastic wrap. Chill in the refrigerator until completely cooled, several hours or overnight. Mixture will be very thick.

To freeze, transfer chilled chocolate mixture into an airtight container. Press plastic wrap onto the surface, then seal with a lid. Freeze several hours until firm enough to scoop (this should only take about 2 hours, but you can do it up to a day before serving).

^ mine took waaay longer to freeze than 2 hrs, and it melts super quickly (in that I only got to take three pictures before it melted). So the very nature of my ice cream is alas, clearly, um, special.

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