During B's spontaneous romantic flight to see me a few months ago, we enjoyed a relaxing weekend together in the kitchen. The love was buzzing in the air, a delicious lunch of guacamole and grilled shrimp already devoured, and as we chilled in my room, B struck up a deep conversation about true love and how much I meant to him. As I listened, I happened to rub my eye. Big mistake.
B: *waxing eloquent on about our future life together* 
Chef Uy: Ow, ow, owwww!!!
B: Uh, are you ok?
Chef Uy: Y'know those thai chili peppers I chopped for the guacamole? I think I got some in my eye, ow, ow, ow, it burrrns! Halp!

True love is running to the sink to fill a bowl of cold water because your fiance gets chili pepper capsaicin in her eye and shoving her face into the water to flush it out.

B has a tagline for me: Natalie Uy, Moment Killer.
The best way to avoid hot pepper hands is to wear gloves, but I always forget. I confess this is *ahem* not the first time I've gotten capsaicin on my face. During the early years of med school, B and I, being nerdy, tried to figure out the dermatomes (ie, nerve patterns) of my skin, which had been burning horribly for hours, especially after a hot shower. After puzzling over why the distribution didn't correspond anatomically, we figured out it was related to what I had touched after chopping chili peppers. So, lo and behold, the right hand, left cheek, and right eye are not innervated by one nerve root after all.
The culprit for all this madness is an Asian guacamole adapted from i am a food blog. It has thai chili peppers, fish sauce, and green onions for a fun asian flair. Watch out for those chili peppers - they can have a mean bite!

Asian Guacamole

Ingredients
1-2 ripe avocados, peeled and pitted
1 tablespoon lime juice
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 bunch green onions, thinly slices
1 bunch cilantro, chopped
3-4 thai chili peppers, minced
1 tablespoon patis (fish sauce)
pepper, to taste
pita chips, for serving

Directions
In a shallow bowl, use a fork to mash the avocado. Stir in the lime juice, garlic, green onions, cilantro, chili peppers, and fish sauce. Add pepper, to taste (the fish sauce provides the salt).  To make is spicier, add more thai peppers; for a milder kick, remove the seeds. Serve with pita chips and enjoy!